Terko-Talks: From SLU to MNC

Coach Adam Terko @ Rikert Nordic Center (Photo: NENSA).

Adam Terko came to St. Lawrence University as a skier and student in 2008, but his time at the school would last long after his racing and studies ended. After graduating in 2012 he joined the Saints’ coaching staff, bringing the same energy and spirit into his three years as coach as he had while on the team himself. During his years as assistant coach, he dedicated his time to write weekly recaps of the EISA collegiate carnivals for the FasterSkier community. Earlier this year, Terko decided to leave his position as the assistant nordic coach this spring to become the Head Coach and Executive Director of Mansfield Nordic Club, replacing current Head Coach Tim Weston who will officially depart the program in July of 2015, according to the team’s website. While the new head coach has been busying navigating his new responsibilities, he answered questions from former teammate and athlete Kathryn Mulcahy about the next chapter of his ski coaching career.

FasterSkier: What are you most excited for with the Mansfield Nordic Club?

Adam Terko: I’m from Vermont and I was personally supported by a lot of people from this area growing up. Having such a great support structure as I became a skier, I’m excited to be part of that from the other end. Also, in New England there is a lot of success and there is definitely a positive future here. I’m excited to be a part of and contribute to that future for kids from this area and Vermont as a whole.

FS: What are you going to miss most about St. Lawrence University?

AT: I came to St. Lawrence in the fall of 2008 as an athlete, so I think after spending seven years there it’s hard not to have a strong connection to the ski team and everyone that was a part of my experience throughout those years. I got to interact with a lot of great teammates and assistant coaches, as I’m sure is similar for a lot of people. But this is a great opportunity to move forward with my coaching career, apply what I’ve learned during my time at St. Lawrence and give what I’ve been given back to others.

On a day to day operational level colleges, especially ones as well supported as St. Lawrence, are definitely benefited by logistical aids that I probably took for granted. For example, transportation, lodging budgets, waxing, equipment, and facilities of various types. Not to mention a corporate credit card (laughs).  At the same time I’ve already gotten to know a lot of people who have contributed a ton to Mansfield Nordic and provide so much for the skiers even without that kind of corporate structure. I think it’s great to have that personal investment and those kind of connections are what a ski club is all about.

FS: When did you decide coaching was something you wanted to pursue as a career?

AT: Sophomore or junior year of college. I had some success with my own racing but knew I probably couldn’t race professionally. But I knew I wanted to stay involved in the ski world and felt that coaching was a good way to give back, stay involved and pass on what I had learned. I tried to learn as much as I could from then on. Knowing I was interested in being a coach even before I was finished racing had me looking for opportunities to apply situations from both the athletes and coaches perspectives, to consider the positives and negatives and difficulties of both sides and apply that to myself in the shoes of a coach.

FS: How do you think your youth is beneficial to you as a coach? In what ways is it a limitation?

AT: I’ve only been removed from racing for a few years and in that time I was an assistant coach. During that time I tried to immerse myself in other opportunities for coaching during all seasons. I attended clinics at the Olympic Training Center in Lake Placid, worked with athletes in the summer from the college age and younger, and tried to take every opportunity I was given to learn as much as I could knowing I wanted to stay in the coaching field.

As for limitations, at 25 I go into coaching knowing I don’t have a lot of experience, when experience is what brings success to many coaches. Realizing that, and going into every individual workout or race knowing that it is a learning opportunity is a way I’ve tried to approach it though.

FS: What do you think the hardest part about being a head coach will be?

AT: When you’re an assistant is easier for responsibility to be put on a head coach and I know that there are decisions that I will make that may not always receive unanimous support. But I’m always going to try to do what is best for the club and for the skiers and I need to trust that as long as I’m putting thought and consideration into my decisions I need to accept that I might not always please everyone all the time.

FS: What do you think your strongest attribute as a coach is?

AT: I think that on a personal level I’m pretty easygoing and very open and willing to collaborate and bring people together. Additionally, I think that I’ve learned the value of connecting with skiers and figuring out what success means for them at their level, whatever that level may be, and helping them to achieve that success. That could be related to results or what they enjoy doing for training, where they want to go in the sport and how they plan on achieving those goals.

I would also say as a ski racer myself I went through times when I would consider myself successful, on a relative scale, and then there were times when I skied into the woods after a race and asked myself why I was doing this and how I could be struggling so much. I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum and moments of disappoint and triumph and I hope that I’m able to put myself in a lot of different shoes depending on where a skier is at.

FS: Where do you see yourself in ten years?

AT: I have the intention of committing to this program seriously and helping the club grow. Some of my individual goals as a coach are to get more experience and connections nationally like coaching at REG camps and Junior Nationals. From there I’d like to experience coaching at an international level through coaching at World Juniors and U18 Scando Cups with the hope that the Olympics are in there somewhere down the road.

FS: Final question, what are your race day coaching essentials?

AT: Guru red kick wax, chocolate covered pretzels, energy and enthusiasm, good coffee, Neos, seltzer, preferably music at the wax bench, and a radio vest so I don’t keep getting mistaken for a high school racer.

For more on the club check out their website @   http://www.mansfieldnordic.org/

Commentating

Today I read an article titled, "Marriage Will Never Set Us Free" by Dean Spade and Craig Willse. I came across the article in my Facebook newsfeed, posted by a high school friend. Intrigued I read it and found myself unconsciously nodding or shaking my head along. The more I read the more I wanted to see how others reacted. Mostly, this article takes old issues that we learned about long ago in "Methods of Critical Analysis" and applies them to 2013. Although, it would be interesting to have the authors take on the article now that same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states (with some friction still in place).  

"There is nothing freeing nor equalizing about such a system."

-> In response to this quotation I would argue that many people would suggest that being able to express a life-long devotion to another person of your choosing is a very liberating emotion. 

"Societal myths about marriage, which are replicated in same-sex marriage advocacy, tell us that marriage is about love, about care for elders and children, about sharing the good life together--even that it is the cornerstone of a happy personal life and a healthy civilization. Feminist, anti-racist, and anti-colonial social movements have contested this, identifying marriage as a system that violently enforces sexual and familial norms. From these social movements, we understand marriage as a technology of social control, exploitation, and dispossession wrapped in a satin ribbon of sexist and hetero-patriarchal romance mythology."

-> I believe that categorizing "marriage  as a system that violently enforces sexual (...) norms" is a bit of a stretch and an insensitive phrase to people who have experienced sexual violence. Sexuality within a marriage is something that should be undertaken willingly and the fact that you are choosing a single individual to share that with should speak volumes to how much you trust them with your body and emotions.

"Under both President George W. Bush and President Barack Obama, “Health Marriage Promotion” initiatives have been used to encourage low-income women to marry, including at times through cash incentives. Demonizing, managing and controlling Black people by applying racist and sexist marital family norms to justify both brutal interventions and “benign neglect” has a long history in the US and remains standard fare."

-> I think I will start with some basics: since President Obama has received extensive support from the black community, managed to turn out an exceptionally high number of African American voters (particularly for his first election) suggesting that he had a strong African American base, and most obviously is a black man I doubt that he would attempt to "demonize" them. Additionally, his own mother was a single woman living with a low-income who has been portrayed as making the best of her circumstances. President Obama has always appeared very gracious, grateful, and admiring towards his late mother. While I'm sure he can understand based on first hand experience how challenging building a life was for his mother this may suggest that he would support "encourag[ing] low-income women to marry" as the author of the article claims but we also cannot presume to know this to be the case (either that the "Health Marriage Promotion" actually is meant to encourage marriage or President Obama's views on it unless explicitly stated).

"The Page Act of 1875, for example, sought to keep out Asian women, hoping to prevent Asian laborers in the US from reproducing, but allowed the immigration of Asian merchants’ wives. Marriage continues to be a deeply unjust tool of immigration control in the US, with marital family ties being one of the few pathways to immigration. One impact of this system is that it keeps people stuck in violent and harmful sexual and family relationships because their immigration status depends on it."

-> This Act was 140 years ago. There are numerous things that were once legal/illegal that are now illegal/legal. For instance slavery and same-sex marriage. But as we evolve and time goes by our views also expand and change. #progress

-> The most legitimate pathway to immigration: legal channels. It is a long process, it is arduous and complicated but there is a legal method.

"Today’s same-sex marriage advocates argue in courts and in the media that marriage is the bedrock of our society, that children need and deserve married parents, and that marriage is the most important relationship people can have. These arguments are the exact opposite of what feminist, anti-racist and anti-colonial movements have been saying for hundreds of years as they sought to dismantle state marriage because of its role in maldistributing life chances and controlling marginalized populations."

-> This quotation makes good arguments in that it questions why the gay community would want to become part of a system of "maldistributing life chances and controlling marginalized populations." Why would they want to enter an institution that marginalizes one partner or has unequal expectations based on gender or status? But we also need to hope that the United States as a whole is moving further away from stereotypes that lock individuals in an unequal position. As a 22 yr old female I don't believe that I will enter a union that pigeonholes me into domestic duties and forces me to raise children based on my gender. I expect it to be a joint effort in all aspects and decisions made will be done with the interests of both parties at heart. I'm not saying I won't do laundry or dishes because those are just realities of life but I'm also not saying he won't either. However, I recognize that I am someone who had grown up comfortably, attended a prestigious university and am white. Maybe this makes me unqualified to think about it in such an idealized way but conversely why should I not want everyone to have a reasonable expectation for equality in their marriage?

"Don’t we know how to hear a critique of a system that we’re implicated in and realize that we should not silence it to dispel our discomfort, or pretend to be victimized by the critique because it is hard to recognize our own privilege? "

-> I guess in the above comment I did recognize my own privilege so I'm following the authors suggestion but as an unmarried individual I also would say that I'm not directly victimized by this critique. I have in fact heard many of the arguments made against marriage before. This is not in any way a new article but rather one that incorporates recent developments into its argument. 

" It is unethical for movements to prioritize those with the most access. We should prioritize those vulnerable to the most severe manifestations of homophobia and transphobia."

-> Why is anyone getting priority over anyone else? Isn't a main argument within this article about equalization for all regardless of gender, economic or marital status, race, sexual orientation, etc?

" A real approach to changing these systems includes asking why marital status is tied to immigration and health care access, how queer and trans people are impacted by immigration imprisonment and deportation, and how homophobia and transphobia create negative health outcomes and block health care access. There are big fights going on to stop immigration enforcement expansion, end border militarization, detention and deportation and stop health care profiteers from bleeding us all dry. Unfortunately, the biggest, richest gay organizations have not put those fights at the center--even though they are the real pathways to addressing queer and trans immigration and health care problems--because they’ve poured almost everything into marriage (the rest to military service and expanding criminal punishment). Meanwhile, straight people on the Left have gotten convinced that they have to be in favor of same-sex marriage or else they are homophobic, because they have been told it will solve important problems facing queer people."

-> I think the article does a nice job wrapping up but does a disservice to these key issues by trying to cram it all in the same article without providing hard evidence in support of each claim. Additionally, I think that the gay organizations have accomplished something commendable and perhaps most importantly, something tangible. They weren't going to fight for the right to not get married because as it was many places had it illegal anyways so that wish was already fulfilled. People generally don't fight for less rights. 
At the end of the day I think people simply wanted to feel as if their relationships and lifestyles were viewed as legitimate, that whoever they chose to be their partner was just as much a part of their life and that they each wanted their commitment to one another to be accepted. There are hundreds of stories about gay couples who have been together for decades. They managed to do that without being married but the bigger part of it was that there was something standing in their way preventing them from publicly committing everything of themselves to the person they love most in the world. 
To provide a little comic relief to all this lets consider a historic example about prevention: when there were separate bathrooms for white and "colored" people. It wasn't the toilet the richest and biggest desegregation organizations were fighting for. It was the fact that there was something standing in their way claiming that their crap wasn't the same as someone else when we all know that crap is crap. Here substitute crap for love. Crap is crap and love is love. 

"The problem with the limited newfound acceptance won by this advocacy is that it hinges on portraying queer people as members of normative couples, reifying the stigmatization of everyone who is not. Queer politics should be about dismantling the sexual and gender hierarchies; same-sex marriage efforts are about getting those who can conform into the charmed circle."

-> This point is very legitimate because there is a significant difference between couples. However...

"Inventing a new inaccurate stereotype—one that portrays queer people as just a bunch of domesticated normative couples—is a terrible strategy if our goal is to reduce the harms wrought by systems of sexual and gender coercion and violence."

-> I think that the authors need to consider what the point the organizations were trying to make as oppose to try to intertwine their point with the movements'.

"Inclusion arguments also require their advocates to divide their constituencies by producing narratives about how “we deserve to be included.” This has meant producing a world of representations of gay and lesbian couples who are monogamous, upper class, tax-paying, obedient consumers. The stories have to focus on those who have something to lose from not being able to marry--the white European immigrants America should want, the couples who want to boost our economy with expensive weddings, the people with wealth to pass on when they die. The promotion of this image of queer life and queer people as “rights deserving” couples who meet America’s racial, class and moral norms participates in the relentless demonizing of all those cast out of the charmed circle--especially all the queer and trans people facing criminalization for poverty, participation in the sex trade, homelessness, and all those who will not reap the rewards of legal marriage."

-> "RENT" anyone?? I think that this paragraph directly relates to that musical/ movie and shows the tender undertones of what is frequently "demonized" (further done by the inclusion and fear of AIDS). There are certainly gay couples who fit into the rich and privileged category (Ellen and Portia are a quick example) but I think that does something important for representation and awareness and they can play a crucial role because of their public exposure. It shows that sexuality isn't limited or "unnatural" sexuality isn't something that is purged from the upper class. Every level of society is effected and I think this does something important for diversifying and equalizing the issue we are dealing with. 

Finally I will say that I think two very important definitions are missing from this article: "marriage" and "family." The author talks about family numerous times and yet the definition of family has evolved greatly from that of hundreds of years ago. As for marriage it too has greatly evolved. 

MARRIAGE:

1

a (1) :  the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) :  the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage <same-sex marriage>

b :  the mutual relation of married persons :  wedlock

c :  the institution whereby individuals are joined in a marriage

2

:  an act of marrying or the rite by which the married status is effected; especially :  the wedding ceremony and attendant festivities or formalities

3

:  an intimate or close union

FAMILY:

:  a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head :  household

2

a :  a group of persons of common ancestry :  clan

b :  a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock :  race

3

a :  a group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation :  fellowship

b :  the staff of a high official (as the President)

4

:  a group of things related by common characteristics: as

a :  a closely related series of elements or chemical compounds

b :  a group of soils with similar chemical and physical properties (as texture, pH, and mineral content) that comprise a category ranking above the series and below the subgroup in soilclassification

c :  a group of related languages descended from a single ancestral language

5

a :  the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children; also :  any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family <a single-parent family>

b :  spouse and children <want to spend more time with my family>

6

a :  a group of related plants or animals forming a category ranking above a genus and below an order and usually comprising several to many genera

b in livestock breeding (1) :  the descendants or line of a particular individual especially of some outstanding female (2) :  an identifiable strain within a breed

7

:  a set of curves or surfaces whose equations differ only in parameters

8

:  a unit of a crime syndicate (as the Mafia) operating within a geographical area

As you can clearly see there are numerous definitions for both. Over time both definitions have expanded to be more inclusive because the dynamics surrounding both institutions have changed. 

And finally, a comment that I particularly enjoyed was this: 

Marriage is also a social contract between 2 people that expresses permanence and exclusivity - people are perfectly entitled to seek that level of commitment and it is not a sign of internalised oppression, but a long-evolved desire for stability in your personal life. Your critique confuses the uses that the institutions of marriage has been put to by the state (to pass moral judgement on those who are not married, dictate who is allowed sex etc) with its core purpose - the contract between 2 individuals. I agree there should be no societal pressure on people to get married, and that the legal and financial incentives are the product of right wing ideology; however I don't see how this invalidates the institution on a personal level. Ultimately, your objection to marriage is based upon your anger at the oppression you have faced. You see marriage purely as a tool for reinforcing that oppression, but have failed to look beyond it at the winder value of the institution, stripped of its implied moral judgement of those who are not married. Marriage is so much more than the legal and financial incentives offered by the US government.

Mostly, I found this article to be very compelling to read and it definitely was challenging to the status quo. While I personally do think that there are a lot of positives to be found in both the normal family and marriage settings (love, stability, honor, commitment, care, etc) you don't have to follow the status quo to find these qualities in life. At the end of the day I still believe that whether you're gay, straight, transsexual, bi-sexual, a lesbian, unsure, or anything in between the choice of how you choose to live your life, the principles you choose to follow and what qualities you find most important and essential to your happiness are something that you will choose for yourself and find a way to incorporate in your life. At the end of the day your decisions are your own and the choices you make reflect your values, whether they conform with societies or not.

http://www.organizingupgrade.com/index.php/modules-menu/beyond-capitalism/item/1002-marriage-will-never-set-us-free

As Easy as Waking Up/ Just For Me

On Saturday I went skate roller-skiing for the first time this season and I'm going to do the best I can to describe how amazing it was. First I should preface this by saying that I left my ski season on less than happy terms even after having the best summer of training of my life in Truckee, California. But for a number of reasons I couldn't get things to click when the race season arrived. And being a senior it wasn't as if I could simply shrug it off and think 'better luck next year' because this season was it for me. Sure I'll do an Eastern Cup or two but overall my ski racing career ended in a painful, splintering crash.

So needless to say I took a slight step back from skiing once the season was over. I went out a few times but didn't jump on every opportunity to ski like I would have normally. Basically I felt like if I didn't take a break my frustration with the season and its various hardships would transfer to the sport itself rather than remaining attached simply to the appropriate sources.

Despite this the time to start roller-skiing again came. I knew it was time because I was itching for the opportunity to go skiing again. I wanted to go. There wasn't a training plan telling me when, no coach saying I needed to get practicing, I simply wanted to go. So a plan was made and the night before I felt like a little kid on Christmas Eve; I knew what to expect because I'd experienced it before but the anticipation for so much happiness and maybe a surprise or two kept me awake. 

***

After clipping into my Swenor skate skis and velcro-ing my pole straps I was off. The first five minutes was essentially a sprint as I lapsed into a hyper-excited mode. Once the initial excitement wore off I fell into a steadier rhythm and it was only then that  I swear I felt my muscles yawn. It was as if they had just woken up and were falling into what they know how to do naturally. I felt them elongate, stretching themselves out after a long hibernation, and a feeling of refreshment trickled throughout my body as every muscle fiber, tendon strand and blood cell became aware of what I was once more asking of them.

I skied around for a little over an hour, refreshing myself on technique and body positioning, remembering to shift my weight and thinking about how high to bring my arms. But even as I ran through my mental checklist of what I needed to be doing to make myself more efficient as a skier I realized I was already doing it. My muscles knew, my body remembered.

With everything in check I sought out the hills, discovered I was less afraid on downhills, and more daring on one foot. And I'd say that my relaxation now is mostly do to the fact that I no longer have anything to lose. If I fall and break my leg now (knock on wood) it's not going to impact my training or season because I'm no longer liable to anything or anyone. But if that were to happen a year ago the negative consequences would be devastating in the mind of a racer calculating training hours and would be a significant setback on fitness. 

While I loved many aspects of being on a team and following a training plan I'm also discovering that I love the freedom of being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I don't have to worry about how it will positively or negatively impact my race results. I've been able to get more into running again, a sport I sorely missed for the past four years. If it's raining out I can decide whether or not to even go outside let alone train for multiple hours. If it's zero degrees this winter I don't have to go out and do intervals. And best of all I can know now that every time I go for a ski it's just for me. 

The Beauty of Destruction: Part One

When I was 18 years old I fell in love. It wasn't the love at first sight, knock you over the head type of thing. More just a noticing. Curiosity over a name.  I knew nothing about him save for his physical appearance and his year in college. A senior. I know, I know, it sounds like the start to a bad rom-com. A clique. Just as writing that out is a clique. But it was more complicated than a movie could ever be.

I waited for over a year and a half before I finally got to be with him. And not in a just-for-sex kind of way but in a potentially real relationship-marriage-house-let's buy a dog way. In truth I was almost over him. Or at least I was at the point where I wanted to be and had taken the necessary steps. But that was before we spent a night together. We in a hotel room. Only we were in separate beds. It was chock full of nervous energy, in no way romantic other than scenarios that I was concocting in my own imagination. And despite being alone with the guy I wanted to be with and had pathetically pined over, throughout that night I laid fidgeting alone in my bed half wishing for the time when we would no longer be stuck in the same room together.

From my first noticing of him we spent large clumps of time together because we were on the same sports team. Every day we spent hours at practice and in the dining hall together. Only he didn't really talk to me because I was an impossibly quiet freshman and I didn't dare speak to him. Instead I learned about him, through overheard conversations and actions. This pushed my initial noticing to gradually shift into 'like.' I liked him. He was attractive, mysterious, funny in a self-deprecating way, serious, quiet but most of all kind. And as I said, it was a slow falling, the way a petal floats down onto a lakes surface, contingent on the shift of wind, the flow of events. 

But as surely as the petal falls you know that as soon as it hits the surface it's going under, immediately becoming sodden and absorbed into the water. Drowning is a certainty, that the fibers of the component will disintegrate and all that will remain are dissolving parts of what it once was. The whole will cease to exist. Yet as it gently wafts down towards the water it doesn't know any better. Blame can't be placed. Destruction at the hands of an element it's very life depends upon and thirsts for isn't predicted in advance. At least not until the moment right before you hit the surface to shatter do you know that you're about to be destroyed.   

What Would it Look like If...

Something that I have often wondered about is how Nordic skiers of the olden days, big names like America's Bill Koch, Sweden's Thomas Wassberg or Gunde Svan, Norway's Bjorn Daehlie or Thomas Alsgaard (to consider some of the great men) would fare against today's top competitors. Considering every little change that has taken place with technique, the ever-evolving artillery of wax, the lighter, faster, more aerodynamic equipment and race suits, all of the ways that heart rates, VO2-Max, and every other physiological component can be tested and analyzed for higher performing athletes, the athletes of yore are seemingly at a disadvantage. And yet I watch clips like THIS ONE.

http://tinyurl.com/qzc9gzr

and wonder, all things being equal, who would really come out on top? What if Bjorn Daehlie was to race Petter Northug on a pair of Fischer Speedmax? What if Thomas Alsgaard were to face off against Martin Sundby equipped  with a pair of triac 2.0 Carbon Composite poles? Could Koch win a sprint against Hamilton or Newell if he traded up for a pair of Rossignol X-ium's? What if a World Cup race were simulated like the above clip? How much can we account for wax, snow conditions, lightness of equipment, improvements in general course conditions like track setting? That would be another simulation I'd like to see happen and will work on figuring out! 

(American Bill Koch. Check out the size of those tips!)

If anyone else has thoughts or some sort of elaborate equation made up to calculate or account for any of these variables a comment would be cool.

Vermont City Marathon 2015

Life has been busy recently with the end of school, senior week activities, graduation and moving to Essex Junction, Vermont but yesterday I ran the Vermont City Marathon as a 2-person relay with Adam. I hadn't trained too much for this event, having taken time off after ski season ended in early March and from there only training casually, typically logging less than seven hours a week. I was excited to get back into running now that my ski career is done though and thought this would be a good way to start making that happen post-grad.

Adam ran the first leg so I got the hand-off in Oakledge Park, getting to run the second and more scenic half of the course. I ran up Battery Hill to some intense drumming, through neighborhoods filled with generous supporters and lots of orange slices, and finally finished along the waterway.

The first five miles flew by and I felt as if I wasn't working at all.

But by mile nine I knew I had gone out too hard (my first two miles covered in a mere 14 minutes) and definitely started to pay for my mistake. Usually a conservative starter, I fell victim to the excitement of the day and my own competitive nature as I tried to chase down the numerous competitors surrounding me. I managed to motivate myself through to mile 10 but hobbled though mile 11 and 12 as my quads and calves tightened with every footfall. And as someone who generally avoids running on roads whenever possible, the balls of my feet felt as if they were being beaten and flattened against the hard pavement, forcing me to choose the slower but softer bike trail's sandy edge. In all honesty, the best part of the last few miles was when a little kid handed me an blue ice pop. It was hands down the best thing I have ever tasted.

At the finish I met up with Adam and we loaded up on food from the runners tent. A friend had held onto our backpack full of gear, including our cell phones, and having not set a meeting time or location we had a brief fiasco as we attempted to find her, opening our eyes to how much we rely on our cell phones and always being able to be in constant contact.

Overall it was a really fun and extremely well-attended and well-staffed event for those who haven't been. I ended up running a 1:42:58 and Adam ran a 1:28. For those in the mixed gender relay category we ended up placing 14th out of 286 and for all the relay teams we were 42nd out of 873. Not too shabby for his first half and a bad race day for me.

Student Loans: Till Death Do Us Part

As my bio says I go to St. Lawrence University in Canton, New York. Located in a small rural community, St. Lawrence and the other surrounding colleges (Potsdam, SUNY Canton, Clarkson) are similar to the tan Cheerio-like pieces in Lucky Charms cereal, easy to pick out and not the best part of the mix as the beautiful farmland is interrupted by ugly academic buildings. While I can only speak for my own college, and even that has it's merits, basically what I feel as a senior about to graduate in less than two weeks isn't nostalgia or sadness but is instead jaded at the system.

While I was able to get a lot out of the university academically, graduating with an English and Government double major (honors in both) and a Peace Studies minor, in addition to being on the Varsity Nordic Ski Team for all four years, I believe that the school asks for a lot financially from it's students. With full tuition pushing $60,000 per year a good majority of students, myself included, attend the school on scholarship. And I fully recognize that it is because of the generous donations to scholarship funds that I am even in attendance at St. Lawrence. Yet despite having received over $20,000 from the university I am still leaving the school with excessive, although sadly not abnormal, loans. And on top of the money I received from St. Lawrence I also applied for other annual scholarships including the Elks and St. Mary's and received a number of financial awards from high school. And still in spite of all this the loans remain.

In no way do I want to sound ungrateful for the opportunities I have been granted or the financial gifts that I have received. I appreciate that I was able to attend a prestigious liberal arts college and recognize that I am exceptionally privileged. And St. Lawrence is certainly not an anomaly as tuition costs are on the rise for most colleges across the board. Rather I believe that the price of getting a college degree is becoming more and more out of reach for a number of families and students. 

As someone who comes from a very middle-class family (my mother was a middle school math teacher for over thirty years and my father has been a firefighter since getting out of the Navy in his twenties and has since risen to the rank of Assistant Chief) my parents have definitely struggled to put three children through college. I clearly remember sitting on the landing of my stairs eavesdropping on a conversation between my parents when I was in about first grade school having to do with the price of college. My dad had suddenly freaked out about how expensive sending all three of his children to college would be. He promptly got a second job at Stewart's warehouse loading and unloading trucks. His schedule at the warehouse had him arriving home around two or three in the morning and involved him having to get up only a few hours later to be at the firehouse by eight. He continued to do this job throughout my middle school days eventually leaving it because of how much time he was missing with the family.

And my father wasn't the only one taking on the load of college tuition. Since retiring from teaching two years ago, my mother got a job at Merrell and continues to substitute teach and chaperon events at the school to help reduce the burden college loans for my brothers and I. 

And my siblings and I are of course not immune to work, having all had jobs since we were of legal working age. I personally spent most of my summers and schools breaks working the 4AM-12PM shift at Dunkin Donuts. I got prematurely judged by most customers as incompetent based on my place of employment, probably thinking that a fast-food restaurant would be my career as they were unaware of my academic pursuits. 

One fun story about just such ignorance was when a regular customer asked me where I had been for the past few months, that they hadn't seen me in awhile. I replied that I had been at college. The look of surprise on their face and then the shock when I informed them that I attended St. Lawrence ("that's a good schools!") confirmed for me the judgement most customers, even nice ones, make about fast-food employees.

While I'm at college I work at sporting events, babysit, move furniture, do lawn work, and participate in on-campus experiments ranging from salivating in test tubes to answering computer questions. On our schools website (SLUWire) I answered any call for help as long as it was attached to some cash. Finding the time for this is of course all in addition to a full course load and a year-round sport. 

My point with this is that even people who have saved and explore any financial option, no matter how degrading, continue to be plagued by student loans. In my opinion the cost of higher education is astronomical and students shouldn't have to give up the opportunity to attend a top college because of the cost. And as the "Loan Counselling Exit Survey" that all seniors with loans had to take kindly informed us, death is the only option for not repaying your loans.

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I want to be clear again that I am appreciative of the opportunities that I have been given and that I acknowledge many students are in worse situations. But this is the situation of a very average person and represents the struggle of an average student dealing with student loans.